I was out with the friend of a friend the other night and as this Fool screamed in my ear, continually, at a fairly loud pub, I was reminded of the Fosters beer ad about the shouter.
Now the noise in the pub was loud with the music and everything – but nothing like loud enough to necessitate the volume at which this bloke was speaking to me. I mean literally – I had ringing in my ears later that evening. Do you know the feeling?
Anyway, it was just like that Fosters TV ad from a couple of years ago where Tom from High Wycombe (in a pub) phones the Aussie advice-mongers Brad & Dan in something of a fluster, saying: “It’s my brother, he’s brought his mate along and … he just stands so close when he talks!”
Brad & Dan, eating sausage in a beach house and drinking a couple of tubes of amber nectar, give each other a knowing nod and agree: “Space Invader” adding “a bloke who’s all up in your grill when he’s chewing the fat. Like hearing your words isn’t enough – he has to feel them on his face!”
Tom agrees and, in desperation, says: “I mean – I’ve tried eating pickled eggs!”
Brad and Dan are sympathetic but know from their rich ears of similar experience that such a policy simply won’t be enough, advising Tom as follows: “It’ll take a lot more than that to knock him off his stride. Seriously – if you wanna beat one of these leaners, you’ve gotta be a shouter; shout at him like he’s in the next state. “
You know the feeling, but can you really do that yourself? I know I can’t, but I also know that talking to people like this is really bad for the hearing. I’ve every sympathy with Tom!