Beating The Shouters With Brad And Dan

I was out with the friend of a friend the other night and as this Fool screamed in my ear, continually, at a fairly loud pub, I was reminded of the Fosters beer ad about the shouter.

Now the noise in the pub was loud with the music and everything – but nothing like loud enough to necessitate the volume at which this bloke was speaking to me. I mean literally – I had ringing in my ears later that evening. Do you know the feeling?

Anyway, it was just like that Fosters TV ad from a couple of years ago where Tom from High Wycombe (in a pub) phones the Aussie advice-mongers Brad & Dan in something of a fluster, saying: “It’s my brother, he’s brought his mate along and … he just stands so close when he talks!”

Brad & Dan, eating sausage in a beach house and drinking a couple of tubes of amber nectar, give each other a knowing nod and agree: “Space Invader” adding “a bloke who’s all up in your grill when he’s chewing the fat. Like hearing your words isn’t enough – he has to feel them on his face!”

Tom agrees and, in desperation, says: “I mean – I’ve tried eating pickled eggs!”

Brad and Dan are sympathetic but know from their rich ears of similar experience that such a policy simply won’t be enough, advising Tom as follows: “It’ll take a lot more than that to knock him off his stride. Seriously – if you wanna beat one of these leaners, you’ve gotta be a shouter; shout at him like he’s in the next state. “

You know the feeling, but can you really do that yourself? I know I can’t, but I also know that talking to people like this is really bad for the hearing. I’ve every sympathy with Tom!

The future of comedy?

When the Fast Show first came onto British screens, many people had never even heard of the internet. Now, however, pretty much everyone you know will be online – either at work, at home or at an internet café.

So, in a way, it’s unsurprising that the return of the Fast Show has been via the internet. The only place you can see it is at the Fosters’ UK site – with weekly releases of episodes on a Thursday.  One of the show’s creators, Charlie Higson, has said that the only reason that he and Paul Whitehouse were convinced to go online with the show is because of the number of people searching online on youtube for fast show funny video clips.

Vic and Bob have also made an online return and can be found at fosters.co.uk as well. Are these the first of many we wonder?  The advantage of being online from the comedy shows’ point of view is that you can be seen by millions of viewers, and people can watch your show over and over whenever they want to.

The Fast Show 2011 episodes so far average between six and eight minutes, so it’s a great way to get some quick laughs while you’re having a work break.

However, being online there’s a lot of other competition for our attention spans – so it may be harder for shows to build up a loyal following.  Knowing something is online isn’t quite the same as knowing a programme will be on BBC2 at 9pm on a Wednesday, for example.

If you’re out of touch with the Fast Show, you might have forgotten just how funny the characters can be – get over to Fosters site and see what Rowley Birkin QC, Ted and Ralph, Our Janine and Ron Manager are up to.

Frankie Cocozza should be back for X Factor final, says Olly Murs

Xtra Factor presenter Olly Murs believes that Frankie Cocozza should be allowed back on The X Factor for this weekend’s final.

The singer said it would be “a shame” if the axed hopeful, who left following drug allegations, wasn’t back on stage. Anyone who had placed an X Factor bet on him will know the controversy that surrounded him.

Frankie was cut from the X Factor charity single after reportedly boasting about taking cocaine, but Olly believes he should be allowed back at the weekend, when all the other acts return.

“It would be a shame not to see him back. Obviously, with the charity single I can fully understand the reasons behind that – with why he left the show, I can understand,” the presenter said.

However, he added as it’s “the last night, the final … we’d like to see Frankie here”.

Olly said that you have to be able to take account of the positives, such as the fact that Frankie “did make a massive impact on the show”.

Presumably Olly wasn’t alluding to the fact that his inability to sing made him the subject of Twitter abuse and social media rants.

The singer also revealed that media mogul Simon Cowell, the show’s creator, is pleased with how the programme is going this year. Those looking at the X Factor winner odds should bear this in mind.

Despite numerous reports to the contrary – particularly as The X Factor has netted fewer viewers than rival Strictly Come Dancing – Olly claimed Simon loves the show this year.

The Thinking Of Me hitmaker said: “The X Factor has been brilliant and he can’t fault it, he says it’s been fantastic, so that’s good to know.”

ITV bosses seem to agree, with chief exec Adam Crozier ruling out making drastic changes to the show format next year, even though it has been losing viewers.

“I think the new judges have done a fantastic job and are important to the future of the show,” he said.

But with Gary and Kelly not expected to return next year, it could get an overhaul anyway.

UK women passionate for Pasha

When it comes to Strictly Come Dancing, most eyes are on the celebs rather than their professional dance partners. At least, that’s the official version. The reality may be somewhat different.

By definition, the dancers tend to be relatively young, fit, agile and rather alluring to viewers of both sexes and of all persuasions. And one of Strictly’s latest male dancers is certainly proving a hit with most of the ladies (and perhaps quite a few of the men) tuning in to the BBC’s Strictly each Saturday teatime.

Siberia’s own Pasha Kovalev, who specialises in Latin dance and who partners Manchester-born Chelsee Healey is one of the favourites to take the eventual top-slot at the world famous Blackpool Tower Ballroom in December. Those following the Strictly Come Dancing odds should remember this.

With his brown hair and brown eyes, the 5’10″, the Russian Kovalev, aged 31, looks like every woman’s dream with his smouldering good looks and athleticism. In fact, he looks a bit more Latin than Latvian – which perhaps explains his specialism when it comes to dance.

So perhaps a good proportion of the public’s votes are based more on Pasha’s good looks than Chelsee’s dancing ability? Anyone looking at the Strictly Come dancing winner odds needs to ask themselves this.

Pasha was a US National Latin Finalist in the years 2001-2006, an Ohio Star Ball Finalist 2001-2005 and a “So You Think You Can Dance” Season 3 Finalist and All Star.

He also appeared on the “So You Think You can Dance” Live Tour in 2007, and on the Australian version of “So You Think You can Dance” as a guest choreographer.

Pasha started dancing when he was eight years old before training formally in Ballroom Dancing. He has taught all styles of ballroom including International Standard, American Smooth and Rhythm but his specialty is International Latin.

Cher Lloyd tells X Factor’s Little Mix to ‘ignore negativity’

Cher Lloyd, one of X Factor’s most famous alumni, has told Little Mix to ignore any negative comments they’re getting.

A couple of weeks ago, Jesy Nelson broke down on the show, explaining that she had been targeted by online bullies.

But she received some stellar advice from Cher, who was taunted on the web during her time on the show too.

“Cher rang me up and she is so lovely,” Essex-born Jesy said, speaking to The Mirror. “She gave me some really positive advice and told me that she got it all last year, so she knows what I’m going through.”

The hopeful added that Cher had told her to rise above the bullying as she wouldn’t be where she is now if she hadn’t managed to do the same. People looking at the X Factor winner odds should remember this.

Others on the show were also quick to rally around Jesy after she admitted to being hurt by the comments she had read about herself on the internet.

Louis Walsh told Jesy: “Don’t read those negative things about you … people are just jealous of you because you’re talented and you’re on X Factor.

Jesy may well be able to show her strength of character soon, beating the bullies’ comments if her group gets through to the finals of the competition. People following the X Factor betting will be keeping an eye on things.

Little Mix – who have been told they have the potential to be the best UK girl group around at the moment – are currently the bookies’ favourite to win X Factor.

The quarter-finals of the programme are taking place this week, which will see the foursome competing against Marcus Collins, Misha B, Janet Devlin and Amelia Lily to win a spot in next week’s semis.

New X Factor war between judges?

This year’s X Factor judges seem to have clashed repeatedly, but Gary Barlow and Tulisa Contostavlos haven’t fallen out, that is, until now!

Tulisa is said to have taken umbrage with Gary’s out-of-control ego. After the weekend’s show, Gary explained that he had described Tulisa’s one remaining act, Little Mix, as being “predictable” because they do the same thing every week. Anyone placing an X Factor bet will be wondering what happens next.

After this, Tulisa apparently “let slip” that they would be spicing things up next week and Gary took credit for this decision, leading the N-Dubz singer to claim his “ego is out of control”.

“Gary could have a party with his ego, he really could. We should have a birthday party just for his ego,” Tulisa said.

An insider told The Mirror that the row didn’t stop there either. The source explained: “Tulisa can’t believe Gary is trying to take credit for Little Mix trying a new style next week.”

According to the insider, Tulisa has made it quite clear that she doesn’t need his help when it comes to mentoring her group. Those following the X Factor winner odds should bear this in mind.

“He may be in a successful band, but so is she, and Tulisa really thinks he is getting above himself in the ego department.”

Some might argue, however, that comparing Take That to N-Dubz is perhaps taking things a bit too far! After all, Tulisa is pretty much half Gary’s age and hasn’t penned some of the best-known pop records in history, so she isn’t exactly music royalty.

Either way, the off-screen fireworks seem to show no sign of stopping any time soon, with the X Factor judges’ rows flaring up time and time again in this year’s series – much to the entertainment of viewers!

Strictly gamblers – get on Russell!

If you’re the kind of Strictly Come Dancing fan who also likes to put his money where his or her mouth is – then maybe Russell Grant is going to be this series’ dark horse.

The diminutive astrologer’s popularity is clearly growing by the week and The BBC appears to have latched onto this – saving Russell’s dances for the top slot it would seem. Those looking at the Strictly Come Dancing betting should remember this.

Of course, no-one in their right mind would suggest that Russell is the best dancer – and the last person to do so would be the man himself. But that’s what the audience loves. Does anyone remember Series 3 winners Darren Gough and Lilia Kopylova’s steady progress through the field back in 2005?

Darren was given very little chance by the bookies but the UK public gradually warmed to the Yorkshire cricketer’s honesty and, above all, his hard work to steadily improve his dancing. He was never going to be the world’s best ballroom dancer. He knew it and we all did at home. But no-one worked harder for the prize and so it was rightfully his. That’s what Strictly is really all about.

So if the eventual winner really is an entertaining trier, then Russell Grant has to be this season’s value bet. His odds are still as high as 25-1 with some major bookmakers. Even Ann Widdecombe and her dancing partner    Anton du Beke managed a respectable sixth place in Series 8 – the series eventually won by EastEnders actress Kara Tointon and her partner Artem Chigvintsev – so anything can happen!  The Strictly Come dancing winner odds reflect this.

If they are to win, then Russell and Flavia will have to overcome five couples currently at shorter odds. At the moment, Harry Judd and Aliona are the bookmakers’ favourites with best odds available of around 7/4, followed closely by Jason Donovan and Kristina at 11/4.

But Russell’s 25-1 odds look sorely tempting.

Has X Factor’s Sophie Habibis ditched Kelly Rowland for Tulisa Contostavlos?

X Factor hopeful Sophie Habibis seems to have ditched her mentor for a rival one – Tulisa Contostavlos.

Kelly Rowland is said to have gone to LA for a ‘pre-arranged’ business trip until Thursday, which has left her acts without a mentor ahead of the next live show.

Her protégés, who include Sophie, Janet Devlin and Misha B, reportedly only found out on Sunday night that they would be without Kelly for the week.

According to a source speaking to The Sun, Sophie seized the opportunity to chat to rival judge Tulisa while Kelly was in the States. People looking at the X Factor odds should remember this.

“Sophie has made no secret of the fact that she thinks Tulisa is brilliant and that she’d love her to be her mentor,” the insider claimed.

“They are like two peas in a pod – both young, from a similar part of north London, and both have a Mediterranean background.”

The source added that the pair “get on like a house on fire backstage and are always gassing away like sisters”.

Even though it looks like Tulisa is taking over the reins while Kelly is away, earlier in the week, the 23-year-old was said to have berated the American for interfering with girl group Rhythmix.

She reportedly headed into their dressing room offering words of advice after the weekend’s show – something which didn’t go down too well with Tulisa.

They fell out after the live performances as well, after Tulisa accused Misha B of being “mean”, rather than saying anything about her song rendition, on Saturday night.

It looks like fireworks could be set to fly this weekend, particularly if either of the two judges’ acts end up in the bottom two – it could officially be X Factor war then!

X Factor host Dermot O’Leary misses Cheryl Cole

X Factor host Dermot O’Leary has revealed that he misses former judge Cheryl Cole.

Speaking after a huge row broke out live on air on Saturday night when Misha B was branded a bully, Dermot told The Mail the new judging panel are taking their job extremely seriously.

He said: “They’re fantastic, but they take it so seriously. To be fair to Gary Barlow, he’s the best singer-songwriter in the industry, so it’s got to produce a credible finalist.

“Can you imagine if we got to the final show and he had to unveil someone who couldn’t sing? It couldn’t happen!”

But even though he’s happy with the current panel, he believes Geordie Chezza would have been a “calming influence” on the others.

He said he used to have a cup of tea in the dressing rooms with her and he also misses Dannii because “she had become a real friend”.

Dermot added that he felt people used to raise their game when Simon Cowell was around – possibly a view shared by X Factor fans, who are said to believe this year’s talent aren’t as good as last year’s. People looking at the X Factor odds should bear this in mind.

It seems even the judges appear some of the former ones on the show, with Tulisa Contostavlos admitting earlier this month that she would love to do a duet with Cheryl.

In an interview with OK! magazine, she said she and the Girls Aloud singer get on well.

“I’d definitely do a duet with Cheryl. We’re cool. When I first met her I went: ‘Aw, I love you,’ and she was like: ‘Aw, I love you too,’ and then we had a little hug,” Tulisa told the mag

Frankie Cocozza admits he’s the weakest X Factor singer

Frankie Cocozza has admitted that he’s the weakest singer on this year’s X Factor.

While the news isn’t likely to come as a surprise to anyone – after all, he’s performed terribly each time he’s appeared on stage – it perhaps wasn’t expected to actually come out of the horse’s mouth.

There was a fair amount of backlash after Frankie progressed through to next week, while Kitty Brucknell and Sami Brookes ended up in the bottom two on the show. People looking at the X Factor betting may have been surprised.

Sami, arguably one of the strongest singers on the show, didn’t get through, as Louis Walsh decided not to take the vote to deadlock (presumably fearing the public hated Kitty more!).

Unsurprisingly, X Factor fans vented their anger through various social media channels, prompting Frankie to tweet: “I know I’m the weakest singer in the competition, nice of people to keep reminding me .. I’m not gunna give up trying to improve. Mugs.”

The world isn’t likely to rejoice in his revelation just yet though – it’ll take more than a little effort to make Frankie into the next big thing, since he lacks something essential – the X Factor! Those placing an X Factor bet should remember this.

It seems even Gary Barlow, his own mentor, was surprised not to see him in the bottom two. Afterwards, speaking to The Xtra Factor, Gary said: “Me and Frankie were backstage honestly holding each other, I was convinced Frankie would be in the bottom.” It’s always nice to know you’ve got people on your side, eh, Frankie?!

If the bookies are to be believed though, Frankie won’t be in the competition past this weekend. They seem to think he’s the favourite to go and following his extremely poor showings, it wouldn’t be a huge surprise – it’d be interesting to see the judges trying to pick between Frankie and Kitty in the sing-off.